A few short years back, I was being wooed by a sweet woman with a pixie cut who loved to run. She wasn’t trying to hook up with me, but instead with my dad. She called me several times every day, listened to me cry about my own problems, bought me a computer, sent me flowers, came to St. Augustine to help take care of me when I had surgery, and was my all-around best friend. Or so I thought.
The ultimate actress. Seriously. Someone give this woman an Oscar!
My dad was recently divorced from his wife of 14 years whom I loved deeply but I wanted my daddy to be happy so I kept putting in good words for him on behalf of his “running coach”.
They finally began dating and as soon as he placed a conspicuous ring on her finger, holy ish, the woman’s true colors emerged and she was nothing like the pretty little picture she had worked so hard to paint. She immediately began criticizing everything I did, my parenting skills, the fact that I was pursuing my Associates Degree while her kids were off working on their Masters and Bachelors, that I was a single parent (how classless is THAT!), that this, that that, that EVERYTHING. I was uninvited from the wedding the day before it happened (another story for another day).
I’m a really horrible person, you guys.
The really sad thing is that when you hear something often enough you begin to believe it. Not me, but my Dad.
He started treating me like crap too, believing everything that horrible woman said. I could do no right, though that was a common theme in my life growing up. I never was quite good enough. Not just from him. Maybe I put that pressure on myself growing up, I’m not sure. I’m kind of good at lots of things, but not really good at anything. I am a good artist, but not amazing. I’m a good dancer, but was never even in the top 10 on my competitive dance team. I’m a talented writer, but not quite talented enough to make a career of it. I was a smart student but not dedicated enough to become noticed.
Not that any of this matters in this scenario, but at least you know where I’m coming from when I tell this tale.
It happened on the second to last Thanksgiving that I got to spend with my Mamom.
Mamom was cooking, I was perched on a stool in the kitchen, The Workaholic was standing around me and there were a couple other family members situated in the small kitchen.
I don’t remember what we were talking about, but I feel like for this to be relevant, we were talking about weddings or marriages, or rings, or something similar. The Workaholic and I weren’t yet engaged and this was his first major holiday with my family. The Devil had a gorgeous ring on her finger, and I asked her how many carats it was.
The Universe stood still. Darts flew out of The Devil’s eyes and landed squarely in mine, begging me to speak again, as she began yelling at me about how tacky I was for asking such a question. She ranted on and on and on for at least a full minute as the stool beneath me spun, bucked, and reeled beneath my shocked and stiffened body. The floodgates held still behind my eyes as she ranted on about how horrible I was, and classless, and disgusting. I can’t tell you what else she said because my ears were suddenly full of cotton and I could no longer hear her, only see her lips flapping as the world tilted beneath me and my eyes welled higher than the Mississippi during a torrent.
All I could manage when she was done tearing me down to a miniature half an inch tall lump of goo, was to tell The Workaholic “Get. Me. Out. OF HERE.” Poor Mamom thought that I was upset because she had said she didn’t love my dark hair. She heard The Devil ranting and raving but couldn’t figure out where the anger was coming from and didn’t realize that it was being directed directly at my soul where scars would still linger five years later.
We left and didn’t come back until Thanksgiving Lunch was served, where I tried to make myself as small as I possibly could.
What do you think?
Isn’t that a question you ask your girlfriend when she gets engaged or married? “OMG BETSY! Tell me about your diamond! How big is it? Is it clear? What does the ring look like? Do you think he ACTUALLY spent two months salary on it?” We weren’t in the company of strangers, this was, after all, family. Even if my question had embarrassed her, do you think her public scolding and telling me I was tacky and classless was necessary? Even if she had answered the question, I wouldn’t have known how much money my dad spent on the stupid thing. The Workaholic bought me a near-flawless diamond that cost a mini-fortune but it was only .6 carats. My dad could have bought her a less clear diamond with lots of flaws, and even at 3 carats, it could have been the same amount of money as my meek (but absolutely gorgeous) diamond. I wasn’t asking how much the ring was worth, I asked how many carats it was, because it was really pretty (though not as sparkly as mine), and very large, and I wanted to know.
It was almost without flaw. Until it disappeared.
And WHY, five years later, does this still haunt me enough that I feel I have to write about it here in this very public place?
There’s SO much more. Each incident could last a chapter in a book. I’ll save the time I almost beat the ever loving shit out of her when I was 8.5 months pregnant for another day. It’s a really good story and needs to be told, but tonight isn’t the time.
Tonight, we’re talking about diamonds and sparkly things.
Tell me your take on the situation.
Wow. She sounds like a horrible human being. It is totally normal for people to ask how big the diamond is. I mean seriously, what planet is she from???
I think she’s from planet bitch, but I’m not sure. I hate that I’ve given her so much power in my life, which is why I feel like I have to dredge this all up so I can get on with my life.
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I think she should have put her psycho on hold, and if SHE had an ounce of class, she would not have spoken to you that way in front of anyone – much less YOUR family. I dont care if you told her her breath stunk – you do not talk to people that way.
Kudos to you for not standing up and slapping her to sleep though… I am not sure I would have had that much restraint.
She really made me feel like worthless trash. This wasn’t the first incident, nor was it the last. There WAS finally an incident where I stood up for myself (or my son, rather). Had I not been 8.5 months pregnant, I’m not sure I wouldn’t be in jail right now.
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Wow… this woman has some issues. And obviously wormed her way in for SOME reason or another. But no one has the right to tell you off because of such a question. Again, wow. Who blows up over something like that? SHE was the rude and classless one. All she needed to say was that she wasn’t sure, but she was just happy to have it. LATER, in PRIVATE, she could have mentioned she was uncomfortable by the question.
Sheesh.
Well, yes. She definitely has issues. I COMPLETELY agree that if she was uncomfortable with the question that she could have addressed it with me later, but that’s just indicative of how she was. I can’t wait to tell the story of why I almost beat the shit out of her.
I have seen firsthand the effects a person like this can have on the relationship between a father and daughter. I hope that in time you and your dad can have some form of a relationship, though it may be forever changed. It takes a lot fo time to heal those wounds.
Thanks Amy! I really hope we can heal too. I don’t think he even knows I’m still so hurt by the relationship and the things that ensued during those few years, but the wounds run very deep. Fortunately the day after The Muffin was born, he left her. He is now back together with his previous wife, and a wonderful, wonderful woman who never stopped being my “mama”. I’m so grateful that they got back together, but I still have these wounds to contend with. Not fun.
I don’t even know what to say except big big virtual hug for you! And a virtual drink as well 😉
Thanks, Bethany! I definitely had my fair share of wine last night.
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First of all you were a magnificent dancer, in the top 10 on your team and that’s saying a lot given the talent level. I’m qualified to render this opinion so we have now put that to rest. Secondly it’s carats I think? I guess it can be spelled both ways. Lastly this sounds very sad and painful and i honestly think it is perfect writing material. Yet I hope you’ve put it behind you as best you can because this woman does not have your power, is not in a position to define you, and is a pretty sick ticket. Sometimes men are easily fooled. You are an amazing woman. And your husband sounds amazing too, has good taste in women but perhaps is not totally defined by his hard work ethic either
I have to start by saying that I’m horrendously embarrassed that I spelled “carat”, “karat”. I shall blame it on the 3rd glass of wine.
I will then say thank you about being a magnificent dancer. I had a rough night last night, and I read that in a moment of insomnia. It made me smile and I fell back to sleep shortly thereafter. You were a magnificent coach and I still feel blessed and lucky, not only to have had you in my life for 3 glorious years, but to still have you in my life. In terms of people who have enriched my life, you are far and away in the top 3, somewhere up there with Kevin. <3
Let it go Summer, yes, she is crazy and way over-reacted; and more importantly, she’s NOT worth it and not worth losing your salvation over by not forgiving. May God be your defender and give you peace, He knows, He sees, He understands and she will be dealt with accordingly I’m sure. It’s our job to love anyway and forgive. Tough job, but you can do it! Just remember that YOU are loved unconditionally by the Father and have a wonderful husband and family to call your own and take care of. We teach others how to treat us (and like you said, give people too much power sometimes), and I’m glad that she doesn’t have the opportunity to hurt you any longer. Does she deserve it? Heck no!!! But I’ve also learned that hanging onto things only hurts US instead. She could probably give a rip. What a bleepin’ idiot! I’ve also learned in all my years of dealing with people that hurting people, hurt people. So PLEASE, I beg of you, do NOT take these things into your heart. You are better than that and have more respect and love in your little pinky than to sink to that level anyway. You are a LOVELY daughter of the KING, more precious than rubies or ANY sized karat that could have been on her finger!!! Love you!
Thank you for the beautiful and well-written response, Jackie! I’m so grateful to have you in my life still after all these years. xoxoxo
And I you, Summer, you are a treasure and I only wish we could live closer!
So hard when people make us love them, only to break us down later. I think they affect us more than people who just start out as evil, less disjunction in our brains. Sounds horrible and painful experience. And totally know where you’re coming from.
You’re right. If she had just been a bitch from the get-go, things would have been much easier to deal with. I think the fact that my dad believed her and treated me in kind is equally hurtful.
Hi there… I just started following your page recently and I must admit, reading this post stirred up all kinds of things in me.. As I read it.. I could feel your hurt and that you just wanted to understand WHY she sees you as she does… There are not always clear answers, but maybe it is how you look at it… I noticed that the “devil” was always belittling you, making you feel small and criticizing (especially in public forums). I am willing to bet you that EVERYTHING she was putting on you.. was about HER. Think about it this way.. Our greatest flaws are the things we are the most critical about in other peoples lives. I will use myself as an example.. (This is kind of trivial.. but you will understand where I am going with this… lol…) I HATE PTA/PTO women.. the whole political bullchit at schools.. the women all trying to one up each other and the plastic smiles and puffed up chests about what they got to “do” for a particular teacher.. (ok… see this hits a nerve for me…) I am EXTREMELY critical about them.. really, I invest FAR too much time watching and finding EXACTLY what I am looking for.. For them to show me what I hate… But this is what I am learning and where I am growing… If I look for the “negative” in them.. that is what I will find, every time.. because people are just that.. people.. We all have a story and flaws… MY INSECURITIES fuel my distaste for these women.. I am quick to judge because it makes me not feel so “small” …. It makes me feel like I am “better” than.. When in reality… I am stooping SO low to find value in myself by tearing others down… So, this is what I think… Your “devil” feels small herself… She is critical about the very things that she is insecure about herself… HER INSECURITIES fuel her distaste for you and others around her that make her feel overshadowed.. She is quick to judge because it makes her feel better about herself… So when you really look at it for what it is.. It has NOTHING to do with YOU and EVERYTHING to do with HER. She looks for negative.. she finds it.. she fuels it.. and the sad part is that she is destroying self esteem and value in others in the process.. What a terrible aftermath… You are her collateral damage… All that to say this.. When you can honestly look at her for what she is.. Insecure, hurt, bitter… feels small… The sting of what she has done to you will somehow lessen… (I only use the PTA “moms” because, like you.. I don’t have enough time to go into my past hurts where family is concerned.. and there is plenty there… lol) I encourage you to LOVE YOURSELF… AS IS.. You are the best you at the moment.. We will ALWAYS have room for improvement, but seeking out improvement should come out of a place of wanting better for yourself.. not to “fix” what someone else has deemed “wrong with you”.. Your “devil” is the one that has to look at herself everyday and I promise you… What she sees is a small, insecure, hurt, lonely woman that is trying to fix herself by tearing others down… That is how many do it… It take great courage to look within.. find the hurts.. heal at the root cause.. and grow. So, let her go. When, or if, she “strikes” again… Gently tell her that you are sad for her that she has the need to destroy others to make herself feel better… and just how lonely that must feel… (works every time…) 😉 Think happy thoughts.. xo
Amy, your thoughtful response was exactly what I needed to read, and I know that you are right. Every word of it is truth. Thank you for each and every word. Seriously. And THANK YOU for just finding me and sticking around.
Totally classless and bitchy woman. She was totally out of line. I wouldn’t have been able to take it without retaliating, which probably would have made it worse, so good for you for walking away. I am a little shocked no one said anything on your behalf and let her do that. Everyone else was probably in shock too. I do think you need to talk to your dad about all this when you are ready, to help yourself heal and move on.
OH Bonnie. You will love the 8.5 months pregnant post, then. I cannot WAIT to share that one.
Unfortunately, I to have been and still am victim of someone like this. Sometimes peoples words stick with us for a very long time and it’s hard to let go of, I know first hand. I think it’s normal, we are after all only human and words hurt. My step mother is something else and I’m so glad my father knows that it’s her that is causing the strain on our relationship. He will not leave her because as he has said ” he doesn’t want to start all over again” this would be his third Marriage/Relationship but he has made a better effort to be a part of our lives without her. The only thing you can try to do (And I know it’s hard) is forget it move on and try to think about the happy things in your life…. like that he is know longer with this Bi*&#. LOL
i’m sorry that you have also (and still are) dealing with someone like this. I’m glad that your dad recognizes that it’s her. My dad wasn’t so strong. He WAS strong enough to leave, which is great. She was his 4th marriage and now he’s on his 5th marriage, but remarried to #3. Does that make sense? HAHAHA! I love my current step mom. She’s amazing. I hope that one day your “devil” gets a grip on her own insecurities long enough to stop being a Bi*&#!
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Seit Ende der 1990er-Jahre ist der Handel
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Since investors don’t get physical property of the actual values being dealt Forex
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Since dealers do not get bodily property of the actual values being dealt online market is risky.
For trading your personal realmoney it is possible to deposit as much as $100 and gain enough trading experience.
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For another is known as trading one currency the cost that
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Bevor Sie sich für den Handel entscheiden, sollten Sie sicherstellen, dass Sie die damit verbundenen Risiken verstehen und Ihren Erfahrungsgrad berücksichtigen.
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Aufgrund der beträchtlichen Gewinnchancen kann es nicht
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Bezogen auf Forex stehen drei Rohstoffe (Gold, Öl, Silber) und 13 Devisenpaare zur Verfügung.
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Develops range based on market situations, but the
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Banks major international corporations us this
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In the stockmarket, the most effective arbitrage is by using numerous share deals
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On many trading assets, you’ll realize that arbitrage is done as a way to take advantage of pricing disturbances.
Online agents inturn of these assistance cost expenses and trading profits for your using the software.
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Some techniques permit some amount of modification since
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You’ll obtain forex alerts in realtime for your mail/mobilephone or even to your MT4.
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Get acquainted with one cross at the same time – Each match is unique,
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Bitte beachten Sie, dass pass away Anwendung
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EToro has dedicated to generating the game cultural, where brokers and many
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A e mini forex demo consideration is just a simulated exercise consideration where you’ve electronic money to deal with-instead of your personal
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Many investors in place trading currency do not spend brokerage fees to business and use their bill to work
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Allerdings ist zu erwähnen, dass der Handel mit CFDs gerade wegen dieser Hebel auch ein Risiko darstellt.
Varengold Bank FX ist jedoch einer der wenigen FX
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With forex no deposit bonus this short article recommends new merchants over a some of the needs of trading inside the Forex industry.
Handeln Sie im Monat 100-299 Kontrakte, sind es dagegen nur noch 4,50 Euro pro Ausführung.
During the time that I’m composing this informative article I should let you know that one
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Gewinns bzw.
Für eine Orientierung sollte man sich im Internet nach einem CFD
Brokervergleich umsehen.
Currency is routinely bought and offers by the program following the price of the possessed or focused breaches a specific
barrier.
You’ve access during the London and Ny classes to
their trading place.
You’ll be trading against others that drop to this truth morning in and day out.
Don’t start Forex over a market that is not thick if you are stepping into forex areas lack public
awareness.
Auch wenn der Handel außerbörslich erfolgt entziehen sich
CFDs keinesfalls einer amtlichen Regulierung.
Sign see and up for John Eather’s Free eCourse more Forex Strategies maintain todate with all
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Zealand dollar had slipped originally during the Tuesdayis trading treatment but has moved and is that was later trading
amount as of now that was near to the opening.
For me, it’s better to think about forex trading as purchasing a stake within an economy
in comparison to another economy.
Das bedeutet, wenn wir jetzt 1 Standard-Lot EUR/USD handeln, dann handeln wir in Wirklichkeit mit 100.000 Euros.
Then it’s important to have the right training, in case you are organizing upon trading and committing.
Any large increases will surely take some time to construct even though you possess a forex trading process that is splendid.
An author of an article exposing this ‘tragedy’ blamed the economic recession, among other
things. Doing the different analyses and calculations by
yourself will help you ensure that you are placing your money on the team that will most
likely win. That will help you in the end on not spending everything you
have.
Free Play Consideration: While investing forex, there
is a learning curve to it. Therefore, it is wonderful to practice before you will get into trading.
In the conclusion you should trust your own personal judgment,
although speaking with different traders about the Forex marketplace can not be
valueless.
The Mobofelax Forex Program is a superb software that can help you save plenty
of annoyance, to summarize.
Dort kann guy sich Strategie Tipps von erfahrenen Tradern holen oder ganz einfach
deren Strategien kopieren.
For example, if it reduces to some distinct value you can purchase currency when a certain price is reached by it or market currency.
Hence, the success of work on Forex profit at a fantastic value, and
risk is 10%-15% monthly.
You must expect to spend more in percentage conditions towards the agent
if you are trading tiny sums.