5. Have sex. It’s awesome.
You don’t have to be thin or fit to have sex. You have to have a vagina. That’s it. Stop holding your fat when you’re naked and in the sight of the person you’re being intimate with. Have you ever seen “Shallow Hal”? OK, well the skinny girl version of the girl in the movie? THAT is what you look like to your partner when you have confidence in the bedroom. Even if you don’t actually look like that person (I certainly don’t), your confidence is SEXY. Plus, sex is good exercise, increases endorphins (happy chemicals), and the more you get it, the happier you will be. Science. Now get naked and make someone happy.
4. Find some confidence in the bedroom and try new positions, your body was made for it.
When you’re doing number 5, stop being boring. Get on top. You’re not going to crush your partner. I weigh at least 50lbs more than my partner, and he’s still living despite the fact that we romp on a near daily basis. Get funky (as long as it’s consensual), and have fun! The more fun you have with your partner, the more confident you will be in the bedroom and in life.
3. Don’t give in to limiting fashion stereotypes.
Oh, big girls can’t wear stripes? Thin girls should wear peplum so they look like they have curves? Redheads can’t wear pink? Screw all that! Wear what feels good and what makes you happy & confident. Just try to wear clothes that fit, no matter what size it is. Size 10 at one store is like size 16 at another. Just roll with it. Healthy isn’t a pant size.
2. You are worthy of being loved, admired, and cherished.
So you have an unhealthy relationship with food, whether that means you don’t eat enough of it or you eat too much of it. So you have some vices. So you’re this or that. You, whomever you are, you deserve love. Stop cock blocking yourself from receiving the love and adoration of other people. You have to know what you have to offer the world. We all have something to offer. We all have a story. Know your worth, know what you have to offer, and offer it. Stand firm in your gifts, insignificant as they may seem to you. Receive love so that you can give it.
1. Do what it takes to have confidence in yourself – You are wonderfully and perfectly made.
Stop looking to other people to provide you with confidence, but do what YOU have to do to have confidence in YOURself. For me, it’s putting makeup on and doing something with my hair. I like wearing dresses. With lots of Monistat Chafing cream. I enjoy dancing so I go to Zumba and pretend I’m on a national competition stage again. I like being muscular so I lift. What makes you happy? What gives you confidence? Figure it out and do it.
Do you see a common theme here? Ladies, you must know yourselves. If you don’t know yourself and what you have to offer, you are lost and swimming in a sea of unattainable expectations. My gift is not singing, therefore I will not pursue a career in music. My gift is writing, and so I do. I am not ever going to have long, skinny thighs. I could have less jiggly thighs, but not long, skinny thighs. So I will not long to have those legs. I will make my legs the best legs they can be. I will never have a small butt. So I will dance when “Baby Got Back” comes on the radio, and I will walk around in my dresses having confidence that my butt is shaking behind me.
Girls! Ladies! Get to know yourself. You are your own best friend. When you know who you are, what you have to offer, and truly accept that, the rest of the world will love and accept you too.
We are women, now see us stop roaring at one another and just love. Fat rolls, bony butts and all.