It’s no secret that we’ve moved a lot since Kyle and I got married. We’ve moved a LOT.
It’s also no secret that I’ve spent most of my life moving from city to city, house to house. It’s just the way things were when I was a kid, it’s the way I’ve continued to do things, and it is the way things have been since we got married. I’ve been from Orlando to Gainesville to Orlando to Juneau to Snettisham to Juneau, back to Orlando, to Auburn, back to Orlando again, to St. Augustine to Palatka to Orlando again, back to St. Augustine, back to Orlando, to Savannah, to Raleigh, and now to Santa Rosa Beach. Or Freeport. Whatever.
I’m no stranger to making friends, and I make friends, er . . . acquaintances, pretty easily. The problem is, and has always been, that I am great at making one friend from all the different other groups of people. That’s great, right?
Especially if you’re the type of person who doesn’t like to be invited to things, if you don’t like to be the person who doesn’t get invited over for playdates, or the person who appears to have a healthy social life, but doesn’t.
I’m not that person.
It all started when I was young, I’m thinkin’ all the way back to Elementary school. I had a school friend and a weekend friend and various other acquaintances in between. It was that way in Orlando and it wound up being that way when we moved to Juneau too.
This trend continued into high school. I was well known, I believe well liked. I had friends in all the different “groups” at school, but the only group that people probably associate me with when they think of the 1999 JDHS Crimson Bears, is our school’s Dance/Drill Team. I was rarely invited to parties, camping, hiking, or on weekend sleepovers. I had a couple super close friends, none in the same groups of friends. I love all my friends, so if you’re reading this and we were close in high school, I still love you from the bottom of my heart and I always did.
What I didn’t love was being lonely all the time. My friends all had their own groups of friends and while their friends’ liked me just fine, I wasn’t exactly the first person they thought of when the group started making plans.
This kind of situation works out for people who are good at making the first move, or for event planners who are great at bringing people together.
I’m not that person.
The only time I bring people together is on my birthday when I plan my own birthday party every year, save this year, of course, since I hadn’t met anyone here yet. Otherwise, I see people at school pick-up, or school functions, or at the gym (of which I am still in mourning), and we exchange niceties as we go our separate ways. This doesn’t make for very deep relationships.
This is my fatal flaw.
I don’t want people to find me annoying, or think I’m a stalker, so I just keep to myself and hope someone invites me to hang with their already-existing-group of friends.
33 years later and I’m still waiting.
HELLO, SUMMER! WAKE UP and stop being such a WUSS!
Think I’ll ever learn my lesson? How do I get over the fear of seeming stalkerish? Because you guys, I’m not a stalker. I just want, for the first time in my life, to have a group of gals to call my own.
At least now that I know what my fatal flaw is, I can work on it. Right?